happyWhen lovers have been together for a while, it is easy for the fire and intimacy to die down. The passion may not be as it used to be, the relationship can be reduced to a set of boring routine and the excitement can become flat.

The first step to getting the fire back is to accept that things have changed for the worse and acknowledgement that for the rekindle to occur, there must be active effort put by both. The fire can be rekindled when you

1. Change your look

If corporate brands change their look after a few years to appeal to the market, also change your look to appeal to your lover. No matter how good you’ve been dressing, your lover is already used to it. Buy new clothes, buy new underwear, new lingerie, try a new hairstyle, work out for a finer physique so that your lover sees you in a new exciting light; re-brand.

2. Apologize and forgive

It is hard to have intimacy when issues are unresolved and hidden under the carpet. Don’t run away from issues, issues are normal in relationships; love is not the absence of issues, love is the capacity to keep issues from poisoning your warmth. Apologize when you wrong, forgive when wronged.

3. Go out on dates

Go for a holiday, a picnic, a date outside together. A different set up makes you two focus on each other in the thrill of a new venue.

4. Commit afresh

As your fire has been dwindling, questions have lingered in your lover and you. “Do you love me the same? Do you even love me at all?”… Allay those fears by reaffirming your love for each other. This is why some couples celebrate Anniversaries. Affirmation demolishes the doubts and frees both of you to keep giving your all.

5. Allocate quality time

Don’t be passive but actively schedule uninterrupted time. Too many couples dangerously find themselves going through the motions, other things have priority but time together is a by the way.

6. Keep technology away

Technology can be harmful to your relationship if it’s left to disrupt your time together. Your bae wants to have your undivided attention but your eyes are busy playing a game on the tablet, chatting on phone, Facebooking, Tweeting, Instagraming. For the sake of love, put away the gadget.

7. Write love letters

Leave notes for each other written sweet stuff. Something to make him/her smile, something short and sweet made personal by your handwriting.

8. Let go of the distractions

Those people you flirt with and excuse yourself saying you are not cheating as long as you don’t have sex with them, block them. Entertaining distractions reduces the effort you should be putting towards enriching your love life.

9. Invest in new scents

Buy a new perfume cologne; introduce your lover to a new exciting scent that will invite your lover to unveil you and be around you.

10. Let loose

Stop being rigid, be open to change. Experiment, try new THINGS together.

The most beautiful thing is to see a person you love smiling.  And even more beautiful knows that you are the reason behind it.

Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.

With love, Muthoni Wachira

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