I would never call myself an expert on attracting guys, so I always like to consult the Internet and real dudes about how to do it. I think it’s really interesting to get a guy’s point of view on these things. So I was excited to read the Ask Men thread on Reddit about things girls should know about attracting guys.
I think all of this stuff is really useful info to know when flirting with guys or thinking about making the first move. Want to get your crush’s attention? Here are 10 things you need to know about attracting guys.
1. Remember That Making A Move Doesn’t Guarantee Success
Other people are telling you to make a move. That’s great and all, but making a move has a much bigger chance of success the more attractive you are, and people so far haven’t gotten into that in much detail. There’s sexual attraction and there’s personal attraction. You have to appeal on both levels to have a chance at a guy wanting a relationship. If you only get the first one then you’re at risk for just being seen as a casual sex encounter (if the guy’s into that), and if you just get the second one then you’ll probably just be seen as a friend. It’s the same thing on your end too with a guy who’s fun but who you don’t find sexy, I bet. A girl who is fun, and knows how to come up with ideas and plan things is a lot more appealing than one who’s really passive and leaves it all up to the man. You don’t have to take it all on yourself, but at least do your share. This means as a friend before one of you has asked the other out, but it also works for dates after that too. I’d say that the chiqs who push me away in terms of personality are the ones who make me feel drained (in a bad way) after spending time with them. They’re combative, cold, and bitchy. I feel like I have to keep my guard up. These encounters don’t last very long because that’s just so unappealing. These gals contrast with the ones who are warm, feminine, and supportive, the ones who make me feel relaxed when I’m spending time with them.
2. Signals Don’t Work
Stop using “signals” to try to get a guy to ask you out. No, we’re not all oblivious to them, in fact some of us are pretty damn good at it, but would you use this method with anything else you wanted in life? If you were buying a new car and wanted a certain model, would you give the salesman subtle hints that you want that car over there? No, you’d look him right in the eye and say “I want that car.” So instead of dropping hints, why not just walk right up to the guy and say “Hey, I like you, let’s go out”? Sometimes, being blunt really is your best option.
3. Remember and Accept That Rejection Is Possible
Prepare for harsh, cruel rejections. Prepare to get raised eyebrows, prepare to be given a quick once over and then have the guy just about face and walk away snickering, prepare to just get WTF faced as you’re walking towards the guy you like. If you aren’t willing to accept this then don’t bother and go with the tried and true method of looking as good as you can and put yourself in social situations where there are a lot of potential male suitors and then just filter em out as they come till you find one you like.
Rejection is always an option whenever you put yourself out there. It’s okay to be rejected sometimes! Don’t let that stop you.
4. Acting Like You Don’t Care Will Get You Nowhere
Do not play ‘uninterested’ as a way of attracting guys more. You will come off as a flake and they will go find somebody worthy of their time.
There’s coyly playing hard-to-get, and then there’s acting like you are completely not interested. Don’t act cold or bored. That won’t make him want to talk to you!
5. Don’t Put So Much Pressure On Talking To Him
A lot of missing the point here. MAKE A MOVE! posts all over. Be socially forward, like just be talkative. You don’t have to hit on him, talk have fun – more fun will follow if you two like each other.
This is a great thing to remember! Just talk to him. You don’t have to focus on being a sex object – you can just focus on getting to know him.
6. Remember That Not Every Guy Wants The Same Thing, So Just Be Yourself
It literally all depends on the guy you are talking to. I know guys that are extremely easy that will take you home if you asked. I also know guys that only have sex with girls in a relationship. Approach people how you would want to be approached and be yourself
Just always be yourself and you won’t have to stress about who you’re trying to be.
7. You Have To Be Interesting and Honest
As a girl, who has (in my adult life) had no trouble in attracting guys; smile lots in the original encounter, back it up with a firm grounding of interesting and interested conversation, and let your boobs/body do the rest. If you wanna hang out with him more, tell him so. If you like him, tell him so. If you feel differently about him than from the rest, tell him that too. Don’t force it, do what comes natural. Share your feelings openly and honestly with each other, and it will all just ‘flow’.
Don’t be afraid to show off your looks, but also know that you need to back that up with a fun personality.
8. Remember To Be Your Own Person
Don’t be afraid to start talking to the dude but don’t be overly obsessed with just him. My favorite chiqs have always been the ones that were more interesting, cultured, or intelligent. You can do anything in the world but if you have ambition in your eyes, then you’ll grab my attention. This doesn’t apply to every guy though and it’s really just ‘go for it and try’; guys do it, that’s how we have to do it. However, when you think about it… Since a girl approaching is as rare as frigging unicorns… I think you’ll have a chance if you keep going at it.
Show him that your life does not, and will not, revolve around him.
9. Never Make Yourself Seem Less Smart Than You Are
DUMBING YOURSELF DOWN DOES NOT MAKE YOU MORE ATTRACTIVE! Pretending to not know anything will not make you any more appealing and a lot of times it actually has the opposite effect.
Never dumb yourself down to impress anyone! Seriously. You’re smart and awesome – show that off!
10. You CAN Get His Attention In A Group Setting
If you want to attract a guy’s attention in a group setting: Make it less of a group setting by pretending he is the only one there. That being said, don’t attach yourself to him like a leech. Initiate and continue the conversation. There is no reason the guy needs to be the one who will carry the conversation.
Getting the attention of someone when you’re surrounded by other people can be difficult, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Just put your focus on him!
By Jessica Booth