So, you’re on that first date. Tensions are high. The deodorant you wore is quickly wearing off and you are afraid your nervousness is going to seep into the air and ruin the moment. You are at a loss at what to do. It’s a very testy moment because you know one wrong thing could ruin it all. Here’s a few pointers for you:
1. Be easy: While playing hard to get looks suave and elegant, it does not wager well on the first date. Being available puts across the fact that you both fancy each other, otherwise why would you have agreed to go on a date? Playing hard to get doesn’t actually work. It is thought that we find people attractive when they are hard for everyone else to get, but love the fact that they are easy for us to have. Therefore on your date, try to say things like “I’ve been single for a while. It’s not that I haven’t had any offers, I just really liked you”. Or if someone asks you to dance or offers to buy you a drink, politely say no and give all your attention to your date. Make them aware that you’re a catch, but remind them that they are the one who has caught you.
2. Talk about yourself: The conversation aspect of a date is scary. The thought of awkward pauses and ugly silences is enough to make anyone’s stomach churn like a washing machine. Don’t run off to a nunnery yet though guys and girls. An easy conversation to have is one that focuses on you. Talk about your past, where you grew up or where you studied. Discussing your background will not only point to values that are important to you, it will also indicate to your date the potential you have to be a long-term partner. Avoid talking about yourself too much though, this is one of the biggest dating no-no’s. Instead, once you’ve talked about your hometown, ask them where they first lived, or their terrible teenage fashion.
3. Dress to impress: Admittedly what you look like is important, but really it’s not what you wear that counts, but how you wear it. When we decide who we fancy, body language and tone of voice are key players. So don’t fret about how you look. The key to a good outfit is one that improves your body language. Make sure the clothes you choose fit, are comfortable and practical. There are a few little tricks you can use that may help your dating success too though. Firstly, ladies if you want a second date leave your neck and your wrists bare. Guys, choose to wear fabrics like wool or silk. These soft fabrics will get your girl snuggling into you, and when she does, the soft fabric causes her brain to release oxytocin – the bonding hormone. Finally guys and girls, avoid wearing perfume. Smell is intrinsic to dating and they need a whiff of your natural scent.
4. Show them that you like them: We all know body language is hugely important when dating, so use it to show your date you like them. Not only will this make them feel great, you’ll be able to judge quickly if they like you back. Women have 52 signals that tell men they’re keen, whilst guys have just 10. Chics if you want to give him a clear message, tilt your neck to the side, lock eyes with him and touch his forearm. Or if you’re feeling really brave, touch his knee. Although cheesy, you can also subtly lick your lips. For the guys, pay attention to how you look. Checking your shirt is straight and your jacket neat may sound odd, but preening yourself is a clear indicator that you care about the girl you’re with. Also whilst you’re listening to your date, slightly raise your eyebrows, it shows you’re really interested in what she is talking about.
5. Follow Up: Some first dates are fantastic. You know that there’s going to be another date and you can’t wait to see him or her again. In those cases, you know that there’s going to be future contact.What about the not-so-great first dates? Even if it’s an awful encounter (“I can’t believe what he said about vegetarians!”) it’s nice to follow up with a thank you. It shows appreciation and acknowledges the time commitment involved when the girl took a chance to go out with a guy. In some cases, that follow up may need to be an apology (“Sorry about the vegetarian remark.”). In other cases, it might be the thing that tips the scale from “OK date” to “good date” just because it shows the guy cares.
There are plenty of more things you could do but this are the ones that will definitely make your first date memorably.