black-couple-first-dateWinning your ex boyfriend of girlfriend and getting them back is hard and its even harder to keep them. The big question being, if they left you once, what’s going to make them not do that again?

People make the same mistakes trying to get their loved ones back. Things like calling,texting and mapping them all the time or being an online stalker,really doesn’t help at all. Another thing that doesn’t work is trying to use pity to win them over. You need to up your game if you want to have something better than what the two of you had.

After you have done some soul searching and gone on a few dates here and there and it finally hit you that the only thing that can work is what you had with your ex, so now you want him or her back. Well here are some moves that will help you win him or her over:

The first move is to start with a text. Don’t send those disturbing and desperate texts that people send after every minute. Some times absence makes the heart grow fonder but at times it causes the heart to look for another person. So “try sending a sweet text, not one that will make her think you’re looking for a booty call” says dating expert Julie Spira. Try to think of something that the two of you have in common or a thing that the two of you love, something like “hey was listening to the radio and that breezy song brought back memories of the concert. How are you doing?” If you get a response then you might be going somewhere.

The second move is to take things slow. Try and gain her trust again. You that person yours once, that doesn’t mean you can make them yours again at the blink of an eye. Rome wasn’t built in one day, it took time. So propose a simple get together, a friendly date better off does lunch. Give her time to respond and don’t be pushy about it. If she says yes then you’re on the right track.

The third move is to call. This time invite her to an upgraded casual date, try dinner. Let her hear your voice and note some sincere effort on your side. See if she would like to go for a movie or an art show. “It will give you a chance to get together in a relaxed environment without much pressure.” says spira. Keep in mind that accepting the invite is just that, she might not be ready. If she turns you down give her space.

The fourth move is to tell the person that you miss them. This is if they accept the date invite. Ease in get to know them its like starting a fresh. Ask them what they have been up to, how work is or even how school is. Just interesting things about them.

The fifth move own up. If they seem open and you think going to the next step is the right move to make,then make it. Acknowledge the mistakes you made and apologize. Try and make the apology come from the heart because at that moment it will be real and that’s a score to your ex.

The sixth move is not bringing the past back to life. Once you have apologized and the two of you are opening a new page,don’t bring back the past and everything wrong that happened.

The last move is to tap into your romantic side. Buy her a box of chocolates or send her flowers guys and for the ladies treat your man like a king give him a reason to fall for you again.

Piece by Charles Gituro

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