Im Broke NiggaHi AB,
I think there’s something wrong with me, or my taste in guys. I just can’t seem to shake off these broke a$$ n***az! They swarm on me like toilet flies on mutura! What am I doing wrong? I need your advice coz I don’t want to end up with a broke guy for the rest of my life.
Gracey K, 21


Hi Gracey,

So you want the good life, huh? You want someone who can afford to show you a great time and maybe even lay down a few nice gifts. You want to attract the rich boy types? I’ll show you how:

1. Look The Part: You need to look like “you gat paper” as you Generation X’rs say it. Look like a million bucks! Your nails must be done and your clothes don’t have to be designer, but they should be of quality and show off your figure without showing too much.

2. Beyoncify It: Be confident. You have to have your own life or be in the process of making one. The rich boy is always looking for a lady of substance, not a gold digger.

3. Be Your Own Woman: Don’t be needy. Be independent. A man with money is probably accomplished and can get a girl any day. But the lady he dates and caters to… that woman will be not so easy to score.

4. No More Clubbing: This type of dude rarely hits the clubs – at least the ones that you go to. And since you will look out of place going to the clubs he frequents (and you probably can’t afford it as well), go to “easier to reach places” – where this kind of man will be: at seminars, conventions, high-end social events.

Broke Bitches5. Up Your Knowledge Game: You’ve probably heard of the ‘dumb blonde’ expression. If you’re not up to date on the latest news, trends, politics, fashion, etc. – you’re the dumb blonde! And please girl, your information should not be from gossip blogs, go mainstream with this. Ultimately, you have to be able to hold a conversation. Talking about Bey or Chris Brown is not going to cut it. Have a more intelligent approach.

6. Be Money Savvy: Understand finance. They do and will appreciate a woman who gets it.

7. Don’t Give It Up Easy: Don’t give in to physical desires on the first date. Make him want you. This sounds lame for you 21 Century girls, but trust this old woman, it works!

8. Be a little mysterious: Men love that. They love the chase.

So ladies, it can actually be done. But it takes a lot of planning, patience and hard work. So don’t believe what the media (read popular culture) tells you – dudes love chics who make them chase after them. It’s in their genes, they can’t help it! We may be in the 21st Century, but dudes genes are still in 1,000,000 BC.

AB a.k.a. Tha Answer Biatch