12 things

So I got mail from a really pissed off girl. She wanted me to pass on this message to guys out there…  “I’m a shy girl, ok! So stop asking me whether I’m mad. You’ll only trigger the anger. That’s my nature.” Her words, not mine. Here are things you ought to know about her and girls like her:

1.Just because she’s shy doesn’t mean she’s not confident. Please don’t mistake being shy for not being self-assured. She’s confident in who she is and knows what she wants, even if she may not always appear that way.

2. She’s independent. She’s never been the type of person who *needs* to be in a relationship, or even someone to go to dinner with. She’s perfectly content on her own.

3. She actually needs to be by herself occasionally. Maybe it’s reading a book, maybe it’s listening to her favorite album in its entirety. Whatever it is, that time is sacred and it recharges her soul, so don’t question it.

4. It can be challenging for her to open up to people. So, if she is telling you about her family, her goals in life, or anything that’s super important to her, it’s because she trusts you.

12 things15. How to gracefully accept a compliment is probably a thing she has yet to master. “Oh, you like my hair?! Thanks! It’s actually the worst, I don’t know why I wore it like this. But yeah, I like your, um, face. I mean, your hair is great too, super good. OK, bye.”

6. She’s an incredible listener. Seriously, the best of the best. Shy girls listen — like, really listen — to each and every one of your thoughts with the most discerning ear. She’ll add her own two cents, but she’ll also always let you finish what you want to say.

12 things2

7. Surprise! She enjoys parties. First of all, the more people, the less of a chance there is that all the attention will be on her. Secondly, being shy doesn’t mean she hates meeting new people! It just takes her a little longer to come out of her shell.

8. She’s obsessed with outgoing people. No, really! Many of her friends are the ~life of the party~ and she loves them for it. They remind her that it’s OK to loosen up once in a while.

9. She’s probably not looking for a shy guy. Realistically speaking, the two of you wouldn’t be able to look each other in the eye and everything would be a hot mess. Besides, opposites attract, etc., etc.

10. Don’t assume she’s socially awkward or inept. She just mixes all the words up when she speaks because meeting new people is exhausting, OK?! There’s a difference.

11. She’s totally game to try new things. She might not be the first person to come up to you at a party, but she’s daring, adventurous, and an even (gasp!) outgoing once you get to know her.

12. Yes, it’s going to take some time to get to know her. But it is totally worth the effort.