Getting over your ex… hold up! Is this even possible? Well it depends on the type of relationship you two shared. At least, that’s what people say. But it’s true that if the two of you were deep in sync, it is guaranteed that it is going to be a lot harder. Just like any other game, love has a playbook. It’s therefore inevitable that the players have to follow its DOs and DON’Ts. Here are some DON’Ts after you break up:
1: Never tell yourself you can still be friends
Don’t get me wrong, friendship will manifest itself after a long while. Meantime, calm your hormones and try maintaining a safe distance from him/her. This deal of still calling each other after every 6 hours, chatting and tagging each other statuses and pictures… Wololo! I say a big NO! The reason I say no is that you will still be building on the feelings you had for each other. This makes the reality that you aint dating not sink properly. Moving on will also be that much harder than of you were not in contact.
If you find yourself doing this, and your partner is receptive, you two still heart each other. You probably disagreed on something minute. So brush off that ego and go kiss and make up.
Months later, when you have accepted on the breakup, and moved on, perhaps then you can be friends.
2: Try not to argue or exchange insults
This one is just as simple, don’t do that. Why? Even the Swahili say “wagombanao ndiyo wapatanao.” I bet the arguments that you had before, summed up together with those that led to the breakup are enough. So as soon as you two call it quits, enough is enough. No more of that. This is because it can lead to-
(a) Loathe; As much as we might badmouth our ex’s there is a good part they played in our lives. A good example is that of a breakup I had; the last words he told me was that ‘he is still the guy I fell for’. Now, as much as I would like to deny, it remains to be the cold hard truth. There is the good part we would all like to remember about out ex’s. So let’s learn how to keep our cool till the tension clears up.
(b) Getting back together; It is no lie that our differences bring us together. The Physics law of magnetism strongly embodies relationships. We have seen in movies that there is more magic to a kiss that comes up abruptly after an argument. So you fighting might just end up in bringing each other closer unconsciously.
3: Don’t flip because of your EX
By flipping I mean acting differently with reference to your ex. It shows that you’re not over him/her. Don’t base your new sentiments on your past relationship. Yes you might have been hurt, but does not give you a solid reason to hurt others. Many change from the good people they were, to hurt persons that have no feelings. They turn into players whose aim is to hurt others by never involving themselves in meaningful relationships. Be careful because as much as what goes round comes back around, if your ex hears of your new ways, they’ll feel so good knowing that you’re still not over him/her.
So say bye and stay safe. If you are a player who plans on not going back to the toys that your mum told you to share, these are steps you’ll definitely need to follow.
By: Louisa Nungari