The MFA Opens are around the corner and the expectations are continuously growing, especially among the young bloods, the rubble community. It was just another normal day around the school, when I walked into the D-hall only to be caught unexpectedly by this mono chat, “Sasa hii opens, tunafaa kucladi aje?” Haha… Immediately, I knew a hurricane of an answer was coming his way. “We cheki raboli, form ni hii, dungia full uniform, trouser ikuwe four inches above the ankle na NUMBER PLATE ionekane kijanaaa!!!”

The response awoke my form one memories, not so much different from his I guess haha… I was told the same thing in what came out as  threat at the time. I couldn’t dare do the opposite of what I had been told. Even though the consequences were unknown, I knew one thing, ‘Respect ya Mafourth lazima”.

I looked like a clown during the open, in my school uniform and number plate as visible as daylight, i looked more of a confused rubble than a high-schooler. The form fours emerged from their “Wing ya mafourth” dressed in their beach shorts, trendy vests and those fly North Star slides. It was crystal clear that we had been duped of course. Anybody could identify us from a far,”Yule ni raboli!” Even the girls!

It was meant to be a hell of a day for me which anyway is typical for every mono after all but my cousin saved the day. It was just one of those lucky days. I met with my cuzo who was the hockey captain for Tala Girls. Ok maybe if you don’t know, the fact is, vibing a hockey chick is a big deal in our school! They are usually considered the hottest chicks in any funkie leave alone their stylish booty shorts.

Asif God had just planned this day for me, she went on to introduce me to her team mates! “Aaawee, he is so cute, is he a form one?” And just like that, I had my whole day sorted out. They treated me like their little baby, they bought me snacks and tagged me along throughout. I could only see other monos breezing around and walking in groups migrating around the school like confused monos they were haha… Not even the form fours could slice me! It was my dream funkie, just how I had imagined it.

Some form fours would try intimidating me, “Form one, enda ukaoshe dorm!” But the girls would defend me, “Aaaaiii, ata wewe enda uoshe dorm, yeye ndio alitukatia wa kwanza!” It made me a legend man… Once the funkie was done with, when I entered the DH, all the seniors were applauding. All of a sudden, I was this great guy, I even earned friends I never thought I would have. That night during Enta, all the cool kids came to sit with me, “Bro, si utupige intro kwa hao madem wako wa hockey.” I was the plug, and it was simply my first funkie in high school, I could already picture for myself what an amazing life highschool was going to be.


But little did I know that luck only hits once. The next day, a huge crowd escorted me to the hockey pitch and you can guess for yourself how it ended.

Mike Murangiri

4 Central