Mwanamke ni nywele banar!

Ukitaka vita or beef..diss her hair.

All we full-blown Kenyan girls know what’s up.

As in ..these men who hate on wigs and weaves hawajui what we go through to maintain that natural hair!lol

Not every girl who has some toned hands gyms btw.

Everyday inafeel kama you are lifting weights while combing that hair.

By the time you are done.. you feel like unaumwa na kichwa,mikono,shingo,hata nywele inauma!

The fact that you have to shuka those 4 matutas before bed (kuavoid kukaa kama mwenda asubuhiasubuhi) even makes it worse.

You also do it to maintain that look..you know mwanamke ni nywele…na salon si cheap btw!

I feel you my sisters.

Here are things we suffer from to maintain our jwerez!

  1. The wig falls off! 

Waah … okay .. this hasn’t happened to me lakini…hahahaha!

Kwanza if it happens in town.Hujui uiokote ama ukimbie..ukimbiee….ukimbieee.. mpaka ufike mbinguni.

I hear kitambo machokoch used to pull the wig from your head wanakimbia nayo… that time hapo chini ya wig ni kichaka ama some few crooked lines zenye zimechooka! Tebu tell me… utafanya nini sasa during such a situation?

 

2. To my Flat Iron mates.

Some salonists aki.. anafanya flat iron at the same same position kama 3000 times na umeeka shingo at some crooked position so inaauumaaa!

By the time amemaliza unakaa nikama ulichapa clean shave… your hair is so thin…and flat on your head.So stiff ..hata upepo haiitishi.

Then the worst part is when they choma you.. then they are like..’Unajua ni wewe unainama sana’.. that’s when you start frowning knowing in your head that hutawahi rudi huko!

 

3. Plaiting braids literally need  a day off!

Mafans wa Kenyatta Market eeeeh!aaah!

Lol,back to the point.

When the braiding has just started ..and 20 very very slow minutes have passed.. you only find 8 pieces of braids kwa kichwa..not too far though…just 10 million more to go!

So ..you sleep,you wake up,you sleep again.

Then unaamka,unajifanya unakuna kichwa so that you figure out amebakisha ngapi….woooi ..amebakisha kisogo yote.

 

4. It is only in females that heartbeat (ile ya mtoto kwa kichwa akizaliwa) still exists.

Umewahi shukwa so so tightly that you can hear your heartbeat on your scalp.. mpaka your eyebrows are pulled upwards?Sijawahi..haha

Those positions people sleep …

 

5.  Magazines za ancestors kwa salon zingine

When you are in the salon doing some braids.. then your phone dies..

Ghai .. unashangaa ulale ama usome Parents Magazine ya 2000 ya black and white..

Acha tu nilale..

 

6. Hair straightening.

So …cause most of us are usually convinced that the salonist anajua what’s good for me..  you tell them that unaneed tu wash and straighten.

Kumbe kuna package ingine anafanya kwa kichwa yako.. only that you can’t see.

Ukitoka salon ..you think you are looking like Beyonce with your hair down.

Blowdryers nowadays are used for making curls.. heeh

 

7. Those moments when you underestimated the braids and the salonists just won’t do you that favour of going to buy the braids.

So you force all that hair into your hoodie.. na kama huna hoodie ..pole sana.. unatoka kisolja..don’t worry ..everyone understands.

 

8. The most painful bit is...

You take a photo to the salonist of EXACTLY what you want your hair to look like.

Mpaka ulienda the extra mile of finding the EXACT braids or weaves ..

Then they decide to do some art and craft thingy on your head…

 

If you don’t go through these things.. you are blessed!

Lol your hair your choice! Don’t listen to the weave haters.