Guys, the days of being insensitive and demanding in relationships are long gone! Just because a girl “ako idhaa yako mbaya” doesn’t mean you’re the center of attention in the relationship. I may not be a girl or a perfect gentleman, but there are some obvious things:
1. Be the Man:
In a relationship, there are two people, the girl and the boy. The girl, is given the right to cry, shout, stress, scream and smile (even all at the same time). The boy however, is the knight-in-shining armor. His obligation is to be the solid rock in the relationship, to stabilize the air.
Make the girls smile not the other way around. Even if you’re one of those effeminate men who shove their problems at chiqs, stop please. If she is angry, sooth, if she is sad, comfort her, if she is happy, laugh with her. Dude, don’t be the one to pull down a good mood.
2. Be Sensitive:
Girls have feelings (too many for some) and lots of opinions. Listen to them and be considerate. Lisa* once said that her boyfriend kept eyeing other girls even while with her. Have some decency, at least focus on her when with her, if you can’t help yourself, don’t ogle but glance with an effort to hide.
It is important to listen to what she has to say. She can go on and on and on and on… till time eternal, but indulge her. She may actually be opening up and expecting closure. Don’t stand there looking at other girls.
3. Be Sweet:
There is no rule against an occasional “how are you really?” or a good act like poetry or even any sweet nothing. It tends to lighten her mood. This in turn enables you both to enjoy your time together. It doesn’t have to be big (though most girls may disagree) it has to be something that she may like. Be good to her, it’s the thought that counts.
4. Don’t spoil her:
This may probably seem to contradict the above. I assure you it doesn’t. Make her happy but do not go a mile over trying to do everything for her.
A relationship is of mutual benefits and should not go over the benefits ratio 1:1, if you know what I mean, if you only got your words or your voice to your name, then make them sweet and spicy for her but don’t go beyond ur means to impress her.
Note: Even if we tret you ladies good, even guys need their own rewards.
Gerald Ngugi <304>