How Instafamous are you?

Perhaps not half as you think. You see, thanks to social media, we have a new generation of celebrity superstars. No, not celebrities on mass media, highly paid athletes, or petty politicians – just real people, doing real things. Like eating food at Subway. And they’re not a day over 25. Yeah, like they think Muthoni Bwika went to Kapenguria with Jomo.

They’re your next door neighbour, classmate, fellow passenger in the matatu. They just love the ordinary things they do more than you. Perhaps a little bit too much. Like eating (remember the Subway celeb?), fashion, phat asses, funny videos and getting pregnant. See, normal, everyday stuff.

They now form the new ‘It’ crowd with their cult followings, steering trends, setting agendas and often commanding thousands for posts apparently showing just a snippet of their ordinary day.

This new generation of Instafamous Kenyan’s play by their own rules. They simply don’t give an EFF about what you think. And yes, they’re getting paid. Like, really getting paid. Mad cash. As in, real mullah. Ching to-the-ching.

‘Who are these people?’ I hear you asking. ‘Do such Kenyan’s really exist?’ Let me decrease your doubts and increase your jealousy rage. Meet THE INSTAFMOUS 5, Kenya’s most influential IG celebs:

1. Mercylitah_double_d.

She is also called Nyakio. Young, and beautiful of course. She commands a following of more than 191K. Her massive following can be attributed to her looks. She rarely ever shares her posts with anyone. Does she have a clothing line? Seems she does, or is planning to since some of her photos have her adorning T-shirts with caps that have the logo ‘With Mercy’. Is she dating? No traces of any lovey dovey stuff on her handle. But there’s a mention of Ercic One Wash (the celebrity hairstylist) somewhere.

😊😊Good morning 🙂

A post shared by N Y A K I O💎💲 (@mercylitah_double_d) on

2. Hawtcarter

A.K.A. LELO. He is a LELO of all trades. Kwanza he’s a tattooist, he’s a social media Strategist (I told you guys, I told you) and then he’s a young entrepreneur. CEO of Hawtcarter Entertainment. Most of his posts revolve around his arts. Body piercings, tattoo and marketing other products. He has got 133k followers. And, is he single or taken? Like Mercy, he also has no traces of any lovelife in his posts.

3. Cheche254

First things first, she is eight months pregnant (???), which means in a month she’s popping a Chechelet. A source says that some oga brother is responsible for this (I knew!). Other sources say… OOOUUU, scratch dat! Cheche has 128k followers on her IG and she seems to have deleted some of her initial posts since right now she has less than 10 posts. You still wanna ask whether she’s single when I said above she’s popping soon?

Screen Shot 2017-03-10 at 12.38.50 PM

4. Terry Maina

I really think this lady looks like Huddah Monroe, in a way. Or most strikingly the TZ video vixen in the Naiboi/Darassa vid. But she is sister to Grandpa signed petite singer Gin Ideal. Her handle is all about her, fashion and a bit of nature. Her following too is majorly due to her amazing beauty. Her huge following has led to her having deals to promote some businesses. Slightly above 114k followers on her IG.

😍😍 Pic:@mavo_gg MUA:@shilah_brownie

A post shared by TERRYMAINA (@terrymaina) on

5. Shaqtheyungin

It’s not always about how many followers you have. It’s also about the hu$tle. And this yungin’ can do. Cat is so cocky he refers to himself as ‘Nairobi’s Youngest Sponsor.’ Boom! He’s a very popular guy, with 54k. Shaq is a lover of life, as his posts suggest. He’s very popular and you’ll see him hanging out with some bigwigs like Jamal Gadaffi, Sauti Sol and Vanessa Mdee. He is, I in my opinion, the most effective influencer I’ve featured here. He uses his handle to post about events, his day-to-day activities and promote some businesses.

By the way, have you noticed that in this list, we have more ladies than dudes? I’m out.

Compilation by G-Boy Eli