Before we start, how many of you here in Facebook are in this group called “KAYOLE CRIME FREE”??‍♂?? Nice, hands down. What do you know that group for? Besides Hessy Wa Kayole, the cop who’s taking down thugs, you can all agree with me is that the sheng being used there is no joke, yes? Day in day out you’ll see guys sharing screenshots of a post that they really can’t translate, not beyond people’s names. It’s become so popular that if you aren’t in that Facebook group, then chances are your friends are not Facebook. And if all your friends in your news feed never mention a thing about it, or even in other social media platforms, then you guys are from mars.

Back to the Sheng storo. Take some time, listen to the Ghetto Radio sheng news daily and shows by kina Bonoko, Mbusi among others then you’ll realise that you are getting what these guys say. So why not get the KCF sheng?KYF is full of incomprehensible sheng to the normal folk, and while you sit there thinking you’re ageing or a shagzmondo that you can’t catch up with the linguistic changes in Nairobi, I beg to remind you about a song Jua Cali did some years back. The Genge honcho did a song that said, “Kuna sheng ya… (insert your hood), lakini si wote tunaelewana. Are we together? Good. So, let’s say you come from Ungwaro, or Kinoo, or even Kibich, the sheng you might be using in those places is very much different from what Eastlando guys are using. Why? Because, as much as your struggles are the same, there’s a difference in what you’re specifically tackling as a hood. In Ungwaro, what’s the main issue? Because sheng is a slang aimed at hiding conversations from unwanted listeners. If strangers know what ‘Ndukulu’ means in Eastlando, trust me the word shall have been changed in six months.

Take for instance a post that reads, “Cheki vile mayout hunyuria ufala….unarauka ngware, hauna form…hujapiga Adi gafe, za mlanchez bado ni hitilafu, unamundia kindukulu zinakurarukia zinakuonyesha uende movie …unapigwa na kinenge unaona ukahustle keroma….unazama marima za msee unapona ngweno…ngweno inachachisha Adi raiya inakam…zimenyc Adi auwezi toka kehuti plus umetoka movie so unaona nikama wewe ni Rambo…unawekelewa ma nine na ivo tu ndio unasonga kwa baba.unaletwa apa fb tunatype RIP..wengine wanasema Kama bonoko”uyo hakuwa mwizi” … …..mm enyewe Kama sina form,heri niende pale kwa vaite nimwombe ngono niende squadi ya waba anijenge iyo sulaa niingie kiothee pale sowe kwa wa john nikatiwe ngiavati zangu mbekse na gafe ya apar alafu nizame marima zangu ni K-O ..lakini asset ya MTU siwezi guza…..niiteni keguoya……” How many words did you understand?

In your world (according to a source who is a Kayole resident), the above paragraph translates to, “Angalia vile youths wanakufa hivihivi. …unaamka mapema huna mpango yoyote. …hujavuta hata sigara, pesa za lunch hata hauna. …unavuta bhangi zinakuonyesha uende ukawatch movie. …unaskia njaa unasema uende ukatafute za chakula. …unaingia chochoro unaiba kuku ya mtu. …hio kuku inawika mpaka inafanya watu wakuje. …since uko high unashindwa mpaka kuhepa mbio na pia ulikuwa movie so unajiona rambo. …raia wanakupiga na zile mawe za nine by nine mpaka unakufa, wanakupiga picha wanazipost facebook na mabeste wanakuandikia Rest In Peace…wengine watasema kama Bonoko, uliwekelewa sababu wewe si mwizi. …. mimi nikikosa mpango heri niende pale kwa mmeru nimwombe mkokoteni niende nikachotee watu maji anilipe niingie kwa kiosk ya John hapo Soweto ninunue chapati zangu mbili na sigara halafu niende kwangu nipassout. Asset ya mtu siwezi guza afadhali watu waniite muoga…

So, thing is it isn’t the sheng that really has changed (but it’s true Sheng changes from time to time), it’s only that Kuna Sheng ya Kayole, and then your hood. People from kayole understand this. Feeling better now ??.