Each relationship is an emotional investment. No matter how long you’ve been together, there are some simple, fundamental rules of the road. Putting them into practice isn’t always easy, but it is critical in order to make your relationship stronger.
Pick Your Fights Wisely
At this point, you should be able to know your partner well enough to read their mood. If they seem tired or hungry, or fatigued, that is probably the least perfect time to pick a fight with them. Save these heavy conversations for a time when they seem a beat more up beat, less groggy and are just in a generally better disposition, in order to avoid nasty, low handed exchange.
The ambiance is also a good predictor of how the conversation could go, so, to yield a better conversation, get rid of the ‘noise’, turn off the TV, the phone, the laptop. If you’re distracted or going out the door, pick another time to talk. You can’t resolve conflicts on the fly.
We all share the innate need to be heard. It’s simple really, speak less, listen more, even to when we’re not talking, we’re still communicating, consequently, when talk turns combative, don’t interrupt, offer a solution or defend yourself too soon. When feelings are at issue, they need to be heard. So nod, mirror back your understanding to your partner to sow that you hear them, a well as offer an interpretation of what is you understand from what they are saying.
We all need to learn how to accept each other and our circumstances, so we can move forward in a way that enhances our lives and relationships. Make an honest assessment of where you are in your life right now and accept it. It’s the only way you can move to the next level.
Make the mutual choice to maintain a positive attitude. Being positive may be the key to keeping harmony. You can control your behaviors and even your moods when necessary, and having a loving partner who is willing to be there for you, even when you are struggling, can’t help but make your relationship more positive.
Just like positivity, you need to reassure your partner that you’re committed to them. Nothing says “I’m constantly thinking about you” like little impromptu gifts, checking up on them during the day at a time when you wouldn’t ordinarily do so, or simply just being there for them when they need you.
There’s nothing more freeing (in a sense) than having a partner with whom you can openly talk to about. Having this does away with unnecessary resentment, and the back and forth banter that is in the nature of passive aggressive relationships. Having a partner you can trust creates a buffer between you and the difficulties of the world. When you have a mate you can rely on, it’s easier to take those risks that help you grow. Always be honest with each other about your feelings and needs, and remember that you can tell the truth without being harsh.
By Vera Njambi