INSYDER RESPONSES- March 2014
[accordion_item title=’I am so embarrassed to tell you this. I have not yet been circumcised and I am in form three. But all my mates already have. They feel very proud of themselves and call themselves men. I do not have the privilege of doing that as I am not yet a man even though I have broken my voice. I have tried to make my parents see how important it is for me to get circumcised sooner than later, but they do not understand. They insist that I should get it done it after I finish my high school education. How do I make them understand that this is important to me?
I imagine what you are going through when your age mates think that you are not man enough. Small bro, nobody will make you feel inferior without your permission. Being man enough is not determined by the “cut”, it is more about being independent and responsible. It’s important to know that you have a choice to either be proud of who you are or to feel inferior. Different cultures have different lifestyles and circumcision is one such way of life that elicits different reactions.
Small bro, whatever is of value or of importance to one culture may be totally meaningless to another.
Having said that, it is vital to know the scientific benefits of circumcision. It has been proven that male circumcision reduces chances of getting HIV and it also improves hygiene. It seems that your parents are not opposed to you being circumcised. They are clear it can be done after you complete high school studies. Focus on what’s important for you at the moment, academics.
What’s up Siz,
[accordion initial=’1′][accordion_item title=’I need attention at all times and I can do anything to get it. Recently, I realized that people do not like my photographs as much as they used to. No one likes my status updates or comments on them anymore. I am losing my popularity and this is not good for me. So I decided to fake my death to get people talking about me. And sure enough, my wall full of comments, likes and photographs of me. Now I have a problem, I cannot be dead for long as I am going to close school and return home for the holidays. What do I do? I still want to enjoy this new-found fame.
Human beings are social creatures and they need interaction, feedback and validation of their worth. Most people enjoy it when they are the centre of attention; they need to have a sense of belonging and a desire to be loved and appreciated. What you might be experiencing is an attention-seeking behavior, that is the use of inappropriate acts in order to gain attention. This is viewed negatively because it can lead to problems for the individual doing it, as well as other people.
It could be a result of an underlying issue — low self-esteem, loneliness, a need to want to feel valued or an experience you went through as a child and you have never dealt with, or are even not aware of.
Small sis, you can overcome your desire for attention if you:
– Stop associating your self-worth with the evaluation of other people;
– Love yourself;
– Seek counseling services that can help you deal with past pain and experiences that might be triggering your desire for attention and;
– Show your talents and gifts. Do it for you. You are important and you have great potential.
It is important for you to be prepared psychologically for any kind of reaction from your friends after the lie about your death. Let them know that it was a prank and apologize for it because it is good to be true and honest.