NOBODY LIKES A PETTY PARTY
guys: Kanye West has new music coming out soon! Don’t worry if you don’t find yourself particularly thrilled with that part — you’re not obligated to jam to the cool stylings of Yeezus, you know — because the real exciting part comes when you realize that with new music comes new lyrics, and with new lyrics comes new drama. This drama involves Amber Rose, Kanye’s old girlfriend who’s found herself in numerous feuds with the Kardashians. Yeah, it’s about to get awful in here.
Did you catch that? “My ex said she gave me the best years of her life,” he (or whoever) raps, “I saw a recent picture of her, guess she was right.” Since we can’t think of any other ladies Kanye’s dated, much less any ladies he’s publicly feuding with, we have to assume this would be about Amber. And man, how ridiculous, right?
It’s not like we ever saw Kanye as the most mature guy on the block, but this is a little too silly. Why would he even bother saying something like this? He has a wife and two kids, why bring up bitter past experiences with other women? Especially when he’s not even telling the truth: everybody knows Amber Rose is still stupidly hot.
BY OLIVIA MALIA