Okay so I’m 14-years-old and I don’t even know my own feelings anymore. I can’t talk to my parents about this, it’s too weird…but I think about sex all the time. I’ve never done it but I always think about doing it or what it would be like. I’m weird, right? Is this normal? I don’t know… please help me.
I want to start off by saying – no, actually by promising – that you’re not weird for thinking about sex. Not to sound like your clueless Biology teacher or anything, but at 14-years-old, your body is going through a lot of changes. This means that the things you think about are changing also. You’re being introduced to new sexual feelings that are totally normal, even if it might feel really awkward, confusing, and strange. In other words, your hormones are raging right now, and that translates to some sexual thoughts.
When you hear about hormones and puberty, you always hear that it’s totally normal and accepted for teen boys to think about sex a lot… but unfortunately, you don’t really hear the same for girls. That’s because a lot of people in our society refuse to accept the fact that girls think about sex too – sometimes just as much as dudes do. That’s why we’re always talking about sex here at Gurl. We want you guys to know that it’s totally fine for you to think about sex, it’s fine for you to want to have sex, and it’s fine for you to have sex (as long as you’re being careful and responsible).
In fact, it’s actually good for you to explore your sexual feelings in the safe spot of your own mind. You’re probably feeling really curious about a lot of things. It might be helpful to look up stuff online (start on Gurl – I guarantee we have an answer for any question you have!). If you feel comfortable talking to friends about it, go for it! I’m sure most of them are in the same boat as you – they just don’t want to bring it up first. And don’t feel like you have to talk to your parents about this. You totally can if you want to, but discussing sex stuff with your mom and dad is awkward and hard, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to.
The most important thing you should take from this answer is that you’re not weird for thinking about sex. It’s totally, completely normal. Unless your sex thoughts are disrupting your daily life and preventing you from doing the things you need to do, you’re not thinking about it too much. So, explore your sexuality, think things through all you want, and relax! I promise you’re normal.