Women embrace yourselves for a cold month coz it’s the worldcup season. So, as those who don’t fancy football get duvets for those nights, I chose to make an appointment with my Juju Master, in return I bring FACTS. Men its time you had your facts right this season ahead of the games, just a sneak peek into the groups.
Teams: Brazil, Mexico, Croatia, and Cameroon.
Since the World Cup is in their backyard, its gonna be Brazil against the world. Expect them to come out on top.
If you add up any kind of home field advantage into this mix, Brazil is guaranteed a win…..same feeling of victory is felt for Mehico (its spelt Mexico but pronounced Mehico).
Teams: Spain, the Netherlands, Chile and Australia.
Experts say this is the most competitive group. (They are yet to prove themselves)
Netherlands and Spain are likely to pull through.
Teams: Colombia, Greece, and Ivory Coast
Charm has it that Colombia has 75% chance of advancing, the safe bet.
However with Greece and Ivory Coast, it’s as unpredictable as tossing a coin.
Expert Advice, it’s not yet Africa’s time. (No pun intended)
Teams: England, Italy, Uruguay, Costa Rica
Contains the most closely matched teams facing off.
Truth be told, England vs. Italy is going to be a massacre.
There could be need for a tiebreaker, but expect Uruguay and England to advance.
Costa Rica is statistically not a contender.
Teams: France, Ecuador, Switzerland and Honduras
These teams are most likely the most boring combination ever.
France’s beef with Ukraine makes them a nice story to follow.
They (France) have a 70% chance to move up. Ecuador and Switzerland are another toss of the coin, but Ecuador has muscle. Honduras is unlikely to be bundled out.
Teams: Argentina, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Iran and Nigeria
No arguments over Argentina.
The battle will be between Bosnia-Herzegovina, Iran and Nigeria
Our Oga brothers are likely to be ‘Boko Haramd’ out at the group stage while Iran sorts their self esteem issues in the locker rooms.
Bosnia-Herzegovina is likely to sail through.
Teams: Germany, USA, Portugal and Ghana.
Joke aside, none of them will outplay Germany, who have only a 6% chance of not advancing. But because Portugal is also such a strong team, chances are that United States does not move up.
Teams: Russia, Belgium, South Korea and Algeria
This is probably the worst selection in the entire cup.
Watch out for Russia and Belgium to come out on top.
16-Team Elimination Round
The winners of the group phase move on to the 16-team elimination round.
Home favorite Brazil will probably face off against the Netherlands, and with the boost from Samba infested fever fans, they’re likely to win.
Germany will easily advance playing Belgium or Russia. (But do I say)
France now will have to face-off with a well prepared Bosnia-Herzegovina.
Statistics predict that these teams both have a 50/50 chance at victory(Germany- France).
England definately sails on, and so does Portugal, Argentina and Colombia.
Now this is where shit hits the fan.
According to my Nigerian juju man, by the quarterfinals in this World Cup, Brazil will still be there and they probably won’t be stopped in the quarterfinals either, not just yet.
Yet again, England won’t make it through.
Also out of this round will be Portugal, Colombia and France (it’s not me, it’s my juju master’s opinion.)
Moving on swiftly are the following teams; Brazil, Germany, Argentina and Spain.
At this point if you aren’t rooting for Brazil you probably are a relative to Adolf Hitler, or friends to either Argentina or Spain.
Spain is the underdog in all of these matchups, and will only progress to the finals in the event of the occurrence of a lunar eclipse.
And the Winner Is…
We’re calling it for Brazil. The level of confidence shown on my Juju master’s face exceeded normal. Their opponent will probably be Argentina, but there’s a fair chance it could be Germany as well.
In either case Brazil comes out on top.
So, by the powers fested in me by my Juju Master, I bet, beyond reasonable doubt, that Brazil will win the World Cup in 2014.
Feel free, Challenge my Charm Master, what’s your bet this season?